Why massage is one of the best things you can do for your relationship
Massage is touch with a purpose. It slows you down, makes you pay attention to each other and gives you a reason to be close without any pressure to "do" anything more. For many couples it's the easiest way back to physical closeness after a busy or distant period.
There's a simple reason it works: when one person gives and the other receives, both are fully present. No phones, no talking about bills, just hands, skin and breathing. Research on touch suggests it can lower stress and strengthen feelings of closeness, and anyone who has had a good massage knows how relaxed you feel afterwards.
Before you start: set the mood
- Warm room, warm hands. Cold hands are the fastest way to ruin the mood. Rub them together first.
- Light a massage candle. It sets the atmosphere, and once it has melted for 15 minutes, the warm wax becomes your massage oil. Choose your scent from our One Love, After Dark, Morning Glow, Romantic or Earth's Desire candles.
- Ask, then ask again. "More pressure or less?" is the most useful question in massage.
The 5 techniques, and what to use for each
1. Long gliding strokes
Flat, relaxed hands moving slowly from the lower back up to the shoulders and back down. This is how every massage should start and end. Go slower than you think: slowness is what makes it feel luxurious.
Use: a classic oil that glides. The Sexy Therapy massage oil set gives you three silky oils to try, so you can find your favourite.
2. Kneading
Gently lift and squeeze the muscles of the shoulders and upper arms, like kneading soft dough. Perfect for releasing tension from a day at the desk.
Use: the Pearls Lust Massage Kit, a silk glove and a pearl necklace that roll and glide over the muscles, so you get a completely different feeling than with bare hands.
3. Thumb circles
Small, slow circles with your thumbs either side of the spine, never directly on the bone. Work from the lower back upwards.
Use: Lubbies Hot & Cold, small oil pearls that melt under your thumbs, some warming, some cooling. Also available as Strawberry.
4. The fan
Place both hands flat in the middle of the back and slide them outwards and up, like opening a fan. It's simple and feels wonderful across the shoulder blades.
Use: Acqua Croccante, a mousse that crackles and fizzes on the skin as you spread it. Nothing else feels like it.
5. Feather touch, and a kiss
Finish with the lightest touch you can, just fingertips trailing across the skin. After firmer pressure, this feels completely different and makes the skin wake up. Then follow your fingertips with kisses.
Use: Love Potion, an edible warming oil, so the massage can turn into kisses.
Take turns
Agree in advance: tonight one of you gives, next time the other one does. Receiving without feeling you "owe" something back is part of what makes it relaxing. Once a week is plenty. Put it in the calendar, so everyday life doesn't swallow it.
Looking for a gift?
A massage evening is a gift that isn't one more object on a shelf. Wrap a massage candle with a small oil set, add a note with a date and time, and you've given an evening together, not a thing. For him, the Romantic candle has a warm men's scent. For her, start with One Love.
The real gift is attention
A massage doesn't have to be perfect. What your partner will remember isn't the technique. It's that for twenty minutes, all your attention was on them.
Find everything for your next massage in Massage Essentials.
At LoveAid, we believe the simplest touch can bring you closest.
